It’s an Inescapable Fact: at Some Point . . .


A friend a mine doesn’t understand why he can’t stop using. He’s in his mid-fifties, lives in West Hollywood and like many of us gay men — like many straight men and women, for that matter — we mixed our meth with some serious sexploits. The sex/meth connection makes giving up meth harder for anyone, regardless of sexual orientation.

He struggles. And, as I’ve written elsewhere, I believe with most gay men and all other “sex tweakers,” that until you are completely okay — and I mean truly, really, okay — with the fact that you never get to have meth sex again, you will continue to relapse — over sex, of course. Once you’re truly okay with letting go of meth sex, letting it go completely, then your odds for successfully quitting are much higher.

But that’s not the point I want to make now. (It’s just too important to leave out.) My point is that I always say the same thing to my friend while he goes through withdrawal. I know he’s sick of hearing me say it, but I believe it to be true.

So, I remind my friend how it is a fact that, at one point, this most recent relapse becomes your last time. It may be your last time to use because your heart explodes or you stroke out and die. Or because you go to prison. But it may also be your last time because you quit.

That there is a LAST TIME cannot be doubted. It’s just a fact. You will experience a last time at one point. It’s inescapable. So why not this time?

Why not let this relapse be the last time?

My friend sighs at the words he’s heard me say many times before. “Why are you so positive?” he asked.

Because there is a last time. That’s a fact. And, well, you know the rest…