Since this will be the last post of the year, I thought it fitting to talk about that “last run.” It’s when we say, “This is it. My last run. I’m quitting right after this eight ball is gone.” Been there before?
(More than once, right?)
Though this post is primarily directed to the person who has just quit or is trying to quit, I think those of you well into your journey of quitting might find this interesting, if not applicable to today. And, of course, many of us had no idea that our last run would be the last. We overdosed, got incarcerated, or some other life altering event changed us so that we wanted to try to get clean. But for others like myself…
Back in 2011, I decided that I had to quit and chose the date that I’d go into rehab. Two weeks before rehab I would begin my last run, which for me, usually lasted five days, followed by two days of sleeping. That would leave me a full week to detox myself, so I could be a star patient and show everyone how much self-control I had by entering rehab already clean. That was the plan.
(Feel free to laugh.)
So I did my run of five-plus-two days, then awoke to find, behold, I had another whole week before rehab. Of course, I didn’t use those seven days to detox. What did I do? I partied right up until time for rehab (which I didn’t end up going to, but that’s another story). Still, this was my real last run, though not the one I’d originally planned. During that last run, I knew in my gut and heart, this was going to be it—I’d have to quit or die a hopeless drug addict.
Why not start telling yourself that this run is indeed your “last,” or, at least, near your last? You’ll probably find it’s not that easy to pull off. We are addicted, after all.
One strategy: if you are planning to go to rehab, set an “intake” date at the rehab clinic and plan your last run right up until you check yourself in. If you are quitting without rehab, you can still follow the same plan. On the last day of your run, when you’re exhausted, out of life and out of drugs, throw all your paraphernalia away (so it’s really gone when you wake up), toss any crumbs in bags or bottoms of drawers, then crash and sleep. When you wake up, you’ll be ready to do your own at-home detox/recovery.
Of course your best “last run” is the one that’s already over. But we addicts don’t tend to operate that rationally. The concept of a “last run” can get your mind prepared for the journey of recovery and help you prepare to quit.
You CAN quit crystal meth.
Today if you decide to start the journey. Learning strategies to better maximize the possibility of truly quitting is what this blog is about. I hope it’s helped. Peace.